Trying hard but not achieving desired results

“Reaching to a success is keeping your mind awake and your desire is in asleep”

In our personal and professional lives, we do have many goals to achieve. Sometimes we achieve few goals very easily but few desired goals are just becoming a dream for us. Why don’t we achieve these desired results? 

We are expected to take actions for making a way to achieve the desired results but inside in our mind we spend more time defending these problem with ourselves. We start focusing on a problem and not on a process of solving it. It becomes unsolved and unachievable. Anyone is offering any help to solve, we tend to give them reasons and defend it. 

Sometimes we try to avoid taking actions because we are scared of something. We delay the process and trying to convince ourselves that how is it unsolvable or unachievable. We are trying to escape from the problem without solving it but it is not going to go away. We try to avoid the people involved in these results and it starts mis-communication and misunderstandings, which may lead to conflicts in our personal or professional life. 

When we start analysing the problem for not achieving the desired result, we come up with some half-baked strategy. We start implementing that again and again, even when we are not getting the expected results. We do not listen to ourselves and others that we should strategise to apply our strength more effectively. 

All of these problems are happening with us on regular basis. We do not give attention to it seriously. But if we start giving attention in whatever we are doing, we can make our mind awake and strategies for achieving results. We need to work out on our fear with a rational thinking and focus on a process of solving the problems. It would be little hard in a start but it would become a lifestyle after practising regularly. 

If you are facing the same problem and want to learn about this in detail, get in touch with us here +91-98220-24674 or write to  jeevan@mindhealth.in 

Difference in our reaction & response

“Our body can take a quantum leap but the transformation of our mind is always incremental.”

When we talk about differentiating in our reaction and response, we need to understand what do we mean by reaction and response independently. In any professional or personal situations in our life, when we are expected to express our thoughts and emotions, we tend to express without thinking much. This process becomes reaction. It comes out with our ego, which is self protective and shadowing with our varied emotions like fear, sadness and anger. We unknowing try to save our ass and create a defence mechanism around us. Reactions are normally emotional in nature so it comes out very suddenly, which may lead us to feel regretful. 

Response is exactly opposite to a reaction. When we are expected to express out thoughts and emotions, we tend express with right reasoning and rational thought process. Response comes out slowly but it can differ the space between our trigger in mind or event and our interpretation of that trigger or event. This space allows us to create right reasoning, channelise our thought process and balance our emotions. We can move ahead peacefully in our mind to take the right decisions. Practising of giving response helps us to differ between what happens in our life and who we are, which develops our understanding people around us and make our life process more profound and satisfactory. It is little difficult to shift from our normal nature of reacting to responding but continuity and persistent can lead us to give response in any situations. 

If you are facing the same problem and want to learn about this in detail, get in touch with us here +91-98220-24674 or write to  jeevan@mindhealth.in 

Are we really feeling like bored or giving up?

Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time. – Thomas A. Edison

We could not find the answer of one question that why do we feel like bored or giving up. We give many argumentative answers that I’m bored because of my physical tiredness , mental fatigue, organisational politics, disturbing behaviours of colleagues, superiors or family members. But we could not find the exact answer within ourselves that why am I feeling bored or giving up. We shall see a simple example

Frequently in a day, we might be feeling sad because we’re sitting around and life’s disappointments are coming in our mind or trying to find a reason why things aren’t going our way. This type of thinking about our negative mood or negative event just makes everything worse. Negative thoughts leads us to many other connected negative thoughts and predictions, which are not required at that moment. This type of thought process results into loss of perspectives, create more confusions and impacts on decision-making process. At the same time, our self-talk constantly judging and criticising to our critical and important tasks we do; especially when things don’t go our way. It keeps drawing our attention to the negatives and spoils our pleasure when something positive happens. This negative dialogue takes us out of the moment and makes us feel depressed.

When we really feel to work positively on the above problem, we should consider our every thought as a suggestion and not as order. When our mind is suggesting that I am physically tired then it is suggesting to give up or to take an easier path. Kindly pause for a moment and discover more new suggestions in the thought process. Try suggesting through our thoughts that I would be feeling happy and satisfied after completing the next expected tasks and I have an ability to finish these tasks even when I don’t feel like. One thing we should always remember that whatever we accidentally receive as a thought is a suggestion and not an order. We have a power to create more suggestions through our thoughts to channelise ourselves and decide on the right option. 

If you are facing the same problem and want to learn about this in detail, get in touch with us here +91-98220-24674 or write to  jeevan@mindhealth.in 

Can we say ‘No’ to being busy

Nowadays we are getting really busy with our tight schedules. We are having number of tasks to do and number of responsibilities in our personal, family and professional life. Sometimes we really don’t realise that how day has started and how it has ended, it just flies away with tight busy schedules. Many times we feel very guilty that we could not give time to the things, which we love to do. What is the exact fact behind being busy? Are we really asking ourselves that ‘are we really busy’?

In our regular tight scheduled day with full of tasks to do, we are used to be busy within our mind too. It has become a habit to say ourselves in our mind that I’m ‘busy’. Practicing it day by day, it becomes prestige issue. We start believing that being busy is same as being important and feeling committed in our pursuits. If we could not keep ourselves busy, we start feeling insecure. So we start ourselves pushing and over-committing. Sometimes we create a perception that people would take me for granted as a dawdler, if I would not show being busy. So it has become a prestige issue and feather in hat with a pride. But the fact is that we are impacting badly on our physical and our mental health by just saying with ourselves that ‘I am busy’.

Once we start saying ourselves that I’m busy, we miss many of our opportunities. Let’s take an example. We have listed few tasks to be done, when we have free time.  In any of our average day, sometimes we may have a free time of an hour or two at our work-place or even at home. We spend that time with something which is not important for us or time just get passes away un-consciously. We do not recall those listed tasks to do, which we would have done in that free time. Unfortunately, we always realise these tasks to be done after spending this free time with unimportant things. Right? Do you experience this common scenario? Why don’t we remember those tasks to do in that particular free time?

Answer to the above question is very simple that we are always talking with ourselves that I’m busy. This so called ‘being busy-ness’ is recorded within our minds and creating a strong block of being busy.  So as we get free-time, we could not realise that we have time now and we would spend this time by doing our pending or listed tasks. Hence crux of the story that we should start talking one message to ourselves within our mind continuously that ‘I have time and I’m going to find that out’.

If you are facing the same problem and want to learn about this in detail, get in touch with us here +91-98220-24674 or write to  jeevan@mindhealth.in

 

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Is multi-tasking making us more productive?

Let us imagine we have entered into a Book shop. Book shop is located in a heart of the city so book shop is crowded with many customers like students, avid readers, researchers, window shoppers. Owner is the only person available in the shop to serve all of the customers. He thinks that he’s a multi-tasking person. He is showing some books to few customers, taking money from the customers who bought the books, keeping eye on window shoppers, suggesting genres and newly arrived books to few regular customers, keeping check on the current stock of the books, printing bills out of the purchases, keeping the book racks clean and tidy. He is aware about trend going in today’s environment about ‘Multi-tasking’ so he is patting his own back and praising himself.

What do we think after reading this example? “Why doesn’t he hire an assistant?”, “He could make more money by keeping few employees in a shop.” These might be obvious statements came in our mind, while reading this example. No? We are also doing the same with ourselves but not in this outside physical world but inside in our mind. Yes, shop-keeper would do more better, if he keeps an assistant or employees but he doesn’t think so. He is managing this book shop from last many years with this way and he is successful in becoming a profitable businessman. No-one can not deny his experience.

You might be thinking that I can do multi-tasking easily. I have my strategies to do. Definitely, we can do multi-tasking but now we will see what exactly happens in our mind at the time of multi-tasking. We can do two or three or more tasks together but we can not concentrate on two tasks at one point of time. So we switch ourselves from one task to another with more and more faster speed. This technique works smoothly and seamlessly upto our limits but we cross these limits without knowing ourselves. It has very thin line in between. Once we cross the limit, it takes few more seconds to focus on a task after switching ourselves from another task. It increases our performing time and we may loose few details of that task in a hurry. This results in hampering our productivity. This type of phenomenon may loose our patience level and we may become restless & anxious. This anxiety increases the time in between switching the task from one to another. It means, if we are taking 2 seconds to switch from one task to another in normal case then now we start taking 5 to 8 seconds in switching ourselves. It has cumulative effect by increasing our working time. Again it has chain reaction on hampering our performance. It may increase our tendency to have some so called relaxation like smoking limitless cigarettes or drinking glasses of beer or having some shots. Actually we are finding some relaxation in slowing the list of tasks and its switching speed.  Additionally, this habit results in addiction and hampers our health. So it is better to prioritise our tasks, understand our limits, focus on one task at time and give our best possible performance.

If you want to learn more about this in details, get in touch with us.

Email: jeevan@mindhealth.in

Getting out of our comfort zones

In our fast paced life, we are always in a search of stability. In other words, we always find a comfort zones in our mind. For example, our body set its own system to keep our blood pressure, glucose level, body temperature and many other processes to keep the particular ‘Stability’ of our body. These processes and a particular stability are functioning to make a specific ‘Balance’ in our body. It means our daily routines have specific ‘Balance’ in our home & working environment, tasks, thought process, our potentials, our patience and many more. As we continue with the same, this particular ‘Balance’ become so normal and un-noticed to us. Actually, this ‘Balance’ is creating specific comfort zones in our mind and shaping our behaviour with the same. It always continues to as we realise to make a change in it.

Now we will see the impact of this ‘Balance’ on our body and mind. This fast paced life has given us lot of impatience and habit of excess expectations in a lesser time. Even many self-made motivation experts are contributing by imposing us to set high goals for fast actions. But we fail to understand that our fast actions are going against our stabilising or balancing factor in our body. We are trying to change and coming out of our comfort zones but it is a un-natural way of doing it. Rapid change confuses our body and mind so our ‘Balance’ start restoring it. If you are going rapidly beyond limits of your normal performance, your body and mind ‘Balance’ blocks you from doing the change.

Let’s take a simple example.

Every year we make many resolutions at the start of the year. Getting up early in the morning, going for a walk or exercise in the morning, doing cycling or swimming or gymnasium, reading at least 10 pages a day from a favourite book and joining a music class are the examples of typical resolutions, which we do. We start to do such decided activities but end up doing these things after 3 or 4 days. We just start a walk in the morning but our work keeps us busy for next few late nights. We are about to go for a music class but guests walk in at the same time. We just start reading a book, our relative asks the same book to borrow from us. Day by day, these reasons become endless and we pull ourself back in our previous routine.

We definitely can make a change in our life and come out of our comfort zones. We have to set a smaller change, focus on small wins and lesser percent of improvement. As we get success in the decided small change, we can go further for next smaller change. This means we have to give enough time and patience to our body and mind to accommodate that change in our specific ‘Balance’

If you want learn more in details, get in touch here +91-98220-24674 or jeevan@mindhealth.in

Why do we always find attention-seeking personalities?

When someone praise us, we always like it and we smile & nod inside our mind. It feels like a new feather in the hat. When it happens with us, we do wanted to happen it again and again. This feeling gives us short-term satisfaction. But slowly it becomes behavioural characteristic to become an attention seeker. Even we can not identify ourselves that we are behaving like an attention seeker in the group. It does not restrict us to be an attention seeker not only in our professional life but in our personal life and in our social or friend groups also.

We need to introspect ourselves deeply to identify that are we really becoming an attention seeker. There are many reasons or situations from our childhood,  young age and adulthood, which contributes subconsciously in our mind to become an attention seeker. Now we are going to see one reason, which may impact us to become an attention seeker. In our childhood and in our young age, we used to have many informal friend groups. Actually these group dynamics are subconsciously shaping our personalities. In a group, everyone is coming from different backgrounds or different grooming styles  or having different life experiences so it may have inequality in many ways. Normally in these groups, any informal discussion start with some funny, serious, fearful, exciting experiences. There is a possibility that we would not have that type any experience. We tend to get one foot backward, when it starts happening regularly. But we are social animals, we always wanted to live in a group. So we also want to share some relevant experiences in groups to feel ourselves to be part of the group. So we start creating some funny, serious, fearful, exciting experiences in our mind to share in our groups. Once it becomes a practice, we can make those type of experiences instantly in our mind. This habit leads us to bluffing, faking without reasons, bullying unreasonably, which becomes a characteristic of our behaviour to be an attention seeker. We start using this habit in our professional and personal life, which becomes disaster sometimes. So if we observe any attention seeking person anywhere, kindly do not blame him or her immediately. Try to understand that why he or she becomes so.

This type of behaviour may impact very badly on our professional and personal life too. It deteriorate our relationships, our credibility, our social status and our own trust within ourselves. This type of behaviour wastes the most precious thing in our life, that is ‘Time’. It has negative effect of diminishing the love and faith from our parents, wife, children, relatives, friends and clients too. People start avoiding these attention seeking personalities. So do not hesitate and start introspecting.

If you are facing the same problem, get in touch with us here +91-98220-24674 or write to  jeevan@mindhealth.in

Do you postpone your tasks daily?

Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans – John Lennon

We are living in a so dynamic world that we have minimum bagful of tasks to do in a day in our professional as well as in personal life. We always want to complete all the tasks but all tasks could not get completed in a day. So here we start postponing our tasks. But first question arises in this situation that why couldn’t we complete our tasks? Lets find this answer first. We need to question ourselves that how many times we are present with our mind at the time of doing the particular task. If we can keep our mind in the present where we are doing our tasks, we can do the same task in a lesser time. Let us see an example to understand it more easily.

When we brush our teeth every morning, we take 5 minutes or sometimes 10/15 minutes or sometimes 10 seconds would also feels like ages. We should give enough time to brush our teeth but why do we need variable time to make it. This instance shows us that we are not present there in the task but wandering with our mind in many other things and that is how we delay to our tasks. We will see another example. If I have a task of cleaning the table everyday. It takes me 5 minutes to complete. Now if I keep my mind in the present and do the same activity, I can do it in 1 minute. This is how I can save on 4 minutes at my disposal. Do this experiment with yourself, you would definitely realise, how much time we can save in an entire day.

Postponing tasks or procrastination generally does not have anything to do with number of tasks or complexity or responsibility or lack of confidence or lack of skills. We do not keep our mind in the present so our mind starts wandering, it becomes an entertainment in our mind and we start postponing our tasks. Sometimes we wander in some of our happy moments in our past and sometimes we wander in sad or fearful moments in our life. We wander in our imagined future too with sad or happy feeling. These imagined feelings become our emotions in the present and we could not concentrate, where we are now. According to general behaviour of a human being, we tend to choose things, which are easy for us to do. We start choosing things or tasks, where our mind presence would not require to complete the task. We start postponing the important but critical or complicated tasks, where our mind presence is required. So lack of mind presence is the culprit of procrastination in most of the cases.

If you really want to learn to keep your mind in the present, get in touch with us here jeevan@mindhealth.in or +91-98220-24674

Breathing helps us in decision-making

Conscious Breathing is a simplest management tool for rational decision-making

Our inhalation and exhalation is actually involved with our every activity. Now we will do an experiment, observe your inhalation and exhalation. What would we realise, we can observe different patterns of our own breathing. If we start observing the breathing with more involvement, we can define the specific pattern of breathing with specific emotion. It means we have slightly faster inhalation and exhalation when we are anxious or very sad. When we observe our breathing with normal or slightly slow in speed  without any internal disturbance, you will feel joyous and happy.  Our breathing cycles have impact on our emotions and vice versa, our emotions also have impact on our breathing. So emotions can be regulated with slower inhalation and exhalation.

Breathing is so inherent activity in our body, which made us unfocused about our breathing process. We are going through different emotions & thoughts throughout the day. We are concerned about tensions, so called ‘Deadlines’, sound sleep, over-loaded responsibility; which we are actually creating with our own thoughts and emotions. But we forget one more important thing in this process that is, to have ‘conscious’ breathing or having awareness about our breathing constantly in our routine life. But we have easily forgotten to keep a watch on our breathing, which can actually regulate our emotions & thoughts.

Decision making is a crucial activity in our personal & professional life. We need peaceful environment inside ourselves to take the right decisions. But we are always chaotic in our mind with our own thoughts, imaginations with good, bad and worst results. If we can analyse our breathing cycles, we can regulate our emotions and thoughts. We can make ourselves rational with a right pattern of breathing. When we are feeling joyous from within ourselves with normal breathing cycle , it is easy to take rational decisions without having any emotional impact. Decision making is so inherent part of our life process that we don’t recognise actual decision making moments. So we take some decision with a particular thought and in particular emotion, which result in disastrous situation. If we make ourselves aware with our breathing cycles, we can make ourselves more and more conscious. Consciousness helps us to keep ourselves more and more involved with our present situation. As we can keep our mind aware and conscious with present, it helps us to take any decisions in any moment our life.

If you’re facing similar kind of problems and need professional help, get in touch here:

+91-98220-24674 | jeevan@mindhealth.in | www.mindhealth.in

Anger can be used as a strategy

In this modern age, ‘Anger Management’ is a popular subject to discuss in Corporate world and also in any informal groups. Few people are really pissed off with these words but have not understood about Anger Management at all. Many ways or strategies have been defined for Anger Management recently but all are not feeling it applicable to everyone. Many experts say it very easily that when we are sure that we can make any change in any disastrous situation, then what is the advantage of getting angry? and when we are sure that we cannot make any change in any disastrous situation, then what is the advantage to become angry? In both ways, there is no any point in getting angry.

Yes, it is entirely true but it does not happen like this in many situations. We get angry and create disastrous moments around us.

Anger is our emotion so it can not be removed from our mind but it definitely can be regulated. We will take a simple but meaningful example. Anyone’s death makes us feel bad, whether he is our acquittance or any other person from society. If I hear a news of someone’s death, I feel very bad. As I get to know that person is my friend or relative, I get sad or very sad. I used to see memories around that person and getting more & more sad. But by suppressing my emotion, I used to stand for my routine work. But this suppression of my emotion may lead me to depression. So I need to regulate my emotion on my own, no-one else can not do any thing to regulate my inner emotional status. But how it can be regulated?

Now let’s take an another example of anger. You must have been experienced this example in your formal & informal groups. Group of persons are sitting together and having a discussion, a person comes in the room, joins this group and sits with them. He starts talking very loudly with anger and getting aggressive with some issue. Someone from that group asks him “Why are you so angry? It’s okay nothing had been happened.” So how this angry man reacts to it? “No, I am not angry. Why should I be angry about?” But situation is telling the truth to other persons in the group that he’s actually angry and getting aggressive. But he’s not ready to accept that he’s angry.

In both type of examples, we have seen that we are not accepting our emotions very easily. If we accept our current emotion in our mind then we can help ourself to regulate the same emotion. Emotions can be regulated only if we accept. Now you will argue that in many cases we need to become angry to get something done from others. In case of mothers, they need to make their children to do their studies or some work. In case of manager, he needs to get some tasks done by his subordinates. In these similar type of cases, we feel like to be angry to get something done. These situations also can be handled intelligently with a different strategy.

First, we need to accept our emotion that we are getting angry. It is obvious that we get angry, if someone is not doing his desired work. This situation is expecting from me to become angry and say something angrily to get something done. Yes, this can be said very angrily as per the requirement of the situation but as a strategy to get the things done. When we are using anger as strategy, we should be aware with ourself. This should not become my emotion at any point of time in that situation. We should be telling ourself inside in our mind that we are using anger as a strategy to get something done. It is not my emotion and should not be my emotion. Using your anger as your strategy (wherever it is necessary) make you more productive and healthy too.

If you’re facing similar kind of problems and need professional help, get in touch here:

+91-98220-24674 | jeevan@mindhealth.in | www.mindhealth.in

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