“Emotion is the consciousness of the resulting conditions – of success, failure, adjustment, compromise and balance.”
If we ask people to define success in their lives, everyone will have different answers. Actually, our own definitions of success are also never constant. For example, if we ask a child what is success, he might say “being a good boy and winning a chocolate from my Dad is a Success”. Later, as he starts going to school, “being a hero in the school & friends” is success for him. Later in his life, “A high paying job or an elegant car” might prove to be his symbol for success. However, in the late phases of his career, he realises that “Nothing of the above actually mattered. A peaceful life is actually what defines success in our lives.”
However, the definition of success is not constant in the society. Not every person considers a high paying job or an elegant car as success in their lives. For some people, a respectable position or a social connect would be success. For some others, it may still be different. This happens as a virtue of our experiences, social circles, thought processes, and perceptions. With ‘Thought Processes’ and ‘Perceptions’, the ‘Science of Psychology’ comes into picture.
So, the real dilemma begins here:
Do we need to handle our ‘Psychology’ as per our ‘Definition of Success’, OR
Should we handle our ‘Definition of Success’ to fit into our ‘Psychology’?
Let’s make it simple.
Through our experiences and beliefs, we construct our perceptions. These perceptions, in turn, shape our lives and thought processes.
Still too philosophical?
Let’s try to understand this with a story.
A man is in comma and lying on the death-bed. His beloved wife sits at his bedside and waits for him to get well. She has no other choice but to wait for him to wake up. One day, her husband comes out of the comma, starts looking here and there, and finds her at his bedside. He signals her to come closer. When she des, he takes her hands in his and says, “You were with me when I was not earning anything, and no-one was ready to marry with me. You were with me when I was struggling to shape my business. You were with me when I was at peak in my business. You were with me when we bought this bunglow and our cars. You were with me when I got into huge losses in my business. You were with me when someone shot me with the gun. You were with me when I got paralysed. You were with me when I was in comma, and you are still here. So, I think you are the reason for all the wrong things that happened in my life.”
This man had nurtured only sad emotions. He had created a completely negative belief in his mind about his wife. He was reluctant to accepting his own faults. Hence, he constantly blamed someone else for his failures.
This is why his (emotional) state of mind created a very negative picture of his wife in his perception.
This is one of the perfect examples regarding ‘how we conveniently choose our perceptions’. Similarly, we always have our own perception towards successes and failures.
To conclude; through our emotions and beliefs, it’s our perceptions that build our psychology. If we can maintain our perceptions in a positive and rational manner, we can define a well crafted definition of success for our lives.
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