Why do we always find attention-seeking personalities?

When someone praise us, we always like it and we smile & nod inside our mind. It feels like a new feather in the hat. When it happens with us, we do wanted to happen it again and again. This feeling gives us short-term satisfaction. But slowly it becomes behavioural characteristic to become an attention seeker. Even we can not identify ourselves that we are behaving like an attention seeker in the group. It does not restrict us to be an attention seeker not only in our professional life but in our personal life and in our social or friend groups also.

We need to introspect ourselves deeply to identify that are we really becoming an attention seeker. There are many reasons or situations from our childhood,  young age and adulthood, which contributes subconsciously in our mind to become an attention seeker. Now we are going to see one reason, which may impact us to become an attention seeker. In our childhood and in our young age, we used to have many informal friend groups. Actually these group dynamics are subconsciously shaping our personalities. In a group, everyone is coming from different backgrounds or different grooming styles  or having different life experiences so it may have inequality in many ways. Normally in these groups, any informal discussion start with some funny, serious, fearful, exciting experiences. There is a possibility that we would not have that type any experience. We tend to get one foot backward, when it starts happening regularly. But we are social animals, we always wanted to live in a group. So we also want to share some relevant experiences in groups to feel ourselves to be part of the group. So we start creating some funny, serious, fearful, exciting experiences in our mind to share in our groups. Once it becomes a practice, we can make those type of experiences instantly in our mind. This habit leads us to bluffing, faking without reasons, bullying unreasonably, which becomes a characteristic of our behaviour to be an attention seeker. We start using this habit in our professional and personal life, which becomes disaster sometimes. So if we observe any attention seeking person anywhere, kindly do not blame him or her immediately. Try to understand that why he or she becomes so.

This type of behaviour may impact very badly on our professional and personal life too. It deteriorate our relationships, our credibility, our social status and our own trust within ourselves. This type of behaviour wastes the most precious thing in our life, that is ‘Time’. It has negative effect of diminishing the love and faith from our parents, wife, children, relatives, friends and clients too. People start avoiding these attention seeking personalities. So do not hesitate and start introspecting.

If you are facing the same problem, get in touch with us here +91-98220-24674 or write to  jeevan@mindhealth.in

Is managing expectations becoming really stressful?

We are born from our mother’s womb and having at least single parent or both parents and few close relatives also. Unfortunately we can not choose our parents and relatives, but we definitely can choose our friends, acquittances, colleagues and partner. Sometimes choosing colleagues is also getting difficult day by day, it becomes compulsive. Right?

We need to face our parents, relatives, friends, acquittances, colleagues and partner throughout our life. Every relation is expecting something from us and even we are expecting something from our above relations. Process of expectations are vice versa. Normally, we are not having any problems with the expectations. But expectations are always endless and it keep going beyond our limits that becomes a problem. This problem creates stress in our mind. With stress, we keep doing same mistakes again and again and could not make clarity in any of our expectations.

We will see a simple and logical example from Mechanical Engineering to understand the gravity of expectations. When two mechanical gears (it means teethes) are coming together and expected to engage in between to function, it needs right support and good lubrication for the smooth functioning. Lack of support and lubrication create sparks in the gear functioning. If both gears start banging on each other, it would result into sparks and then into fire. This fire devastates the gears entirely. As we are progressing ahead with the time, two engaged gears are functioning well and a new gear introduced to engage then new gear needs more lubrication and support for smooth functioning. Sometimes these gears have wear & tear issues so we need to keep its maintenance also.

Similar to the above example our lives are engaged with many different gears together and need right support and good lubrication for smooth functioning of our life. But what is this support and lubrication means in expectations? We are going through chaos of thoughts and different emotion sets, where our thoughts are not channelised and emotions are not regulated. We can give right support to our expectations by channelising our thoughts and regulating our emotions. We can give good lubrication for expectations by understanding ourselves and understanding our expectations more clearly. Deep introspection is needed to understand ourselves. So it gives us a way to understand others’ expectations and keep right expectations from others.

Sometimes few would need help for introspection of ourselves, channelising thought process and regulating our emotions. If you really need any type of professional help, get in touch here:

+91-98220-24674 or jeevan@mindhealth.in

Close relation of Spinal Cord, Breathing, our emotions & thoughts

Usually we love to sit in a recliner chairs and prefer this kind of chairs in our office, home, bus, car and theatres. We feel very comfortable in these type of chairs. We used to sit hours and hours on recliner type of chair in our offices. This sitting arrangement gives very good muscle comfort to our body. But we can offer two types of comforts to our body one is Muscle Comfort and other is Organ Comfort.

In our body, most of our vital organs are placed in our heart and abdomen region. These important organs are not bolted to any pillar in our body. It is like hanging shirt on a hanger. You can keep your shirt wrinkle free, if it is hanged properly and kept it straight. Similarly if we seat with our spine erect, our important organs get necessary comfort. These organs can give the best performance.

If we can keep our spinal cord means our neck, upper back and lower back in a straight position, we can have a complete breathing cycle from our abdomen to chest. So our body is breathing-in maximum fresh air in our lungs, which results into more and more freshness in our body and in our mental state. It is difficult to sit in a straight position for our hours but we can train our muscles to be comfortable with the spine erect.

If we are seating with a spine straight and doing the full respiration consciously, then we can concentrate on our work well. We can deliver best possible quality performance and increase our productivity in the work and at our home also. With the ‘spine-erected sitting’ and full respiration, we can regulate our emotions and thought process easily and take balanced decisions. This can be the best technique for regulating our anger, anxiety and sadness.

So keep breathing, keep your spine straight.

If you need any professional help, kindly get in touch: +91-98220-24674 | jeevan@mindhealth.in

“Belief System” – The secret to Happiness

“Each of us have set of assumptions about ourselves and perceptions about the world, which guide us to determine our reactions to the various situations we encounter.”

Corporate! it is such a dynamic world. Many times what we visualise ‘Corporate’ as something looks sophisticated from outside but dirty from inside. We have lot of common sayings or assumptions in ourselves about corporate world like “Boss is always right”, “People are very diplomatic”, “having dirty politics in corporate world”, “corporate gives you money & dignity but it steals your personal life”, “This world is always stressful & workaholic”. How have we built these assumptions around us? Many times, we have these assumptions before working in real corporate world. It has been created around us by many sources like parents, friends, society, education system, media. Everyone does not have the same experience but we have common assumptions.

As we take birth on this earth, we are somehow clean and assumption-less. But from childhood, everyone around us starts giving us unsolicited advice about people in this world and its different facets. But we get very less chance to experience everything without any assumptions in our mind. These assumptions become beliefs. When we get a job in a campus interview, we believe that this company and our profile will make us successful but very less people believe the same after five years working in same company. Entrepreneurs always believe that this venture is going to make us very successful but very less entrepreneurs feel the same after twenty years working in same venture. Why is it so???

Our assumptions make our beliefs and we start thinking through these beliefs. In our last blog, we have seen perceptions; actually we develop our perceptions through these beliefs. Every reaction in our life reflects our beliefs, when it becomes a part of our life; it becomes a part of our thought process i.e. Belief System. Every decision in our professional or personal life has a big role of our belief system.

Our belief system need to be thoroughly introspected, when we want to be successful and want to live a happy life. We need to introspect our assumptions about everything in the life very carefully and need to do it one by one. We will see a common example to see the impact of a ‘word’ in our life. We use the word ‘Deadline’ many many times in a day. But in a reality, is it really our deadline? Are we going to be dead after that line? We are slowly creating stress in our subconscious mind by using this word. This type of detailing is expected, when we are introspecting about our belief system.

We definitely can make change in our belief system, which will help us to live stress-free, happy and successful life. But we need to have patience, consistency and persistence to make these changes.

For any professional help, contact: +91-98220-24674 | jeevan@mindhealth.in

Does Psychology define Success?

“Emotion is the consciousness of the resulting conditions – of success, failure, adjustment, compromise and balance.”

Success!!!

If we ask people to define success in their lives, everyone will have different answers. Actually, our own definitions of success are also never constant. For example, if we ask a child what is success, he might say “being a good boy and winning a chocolate from my Dad is a Success”. Later, as he starts going to school, “being a hero in the school & friends” is success for him. Later in his life, “A high paying job or an elegant car” might prove to be his symbol for success. However, in the late phases of his career, he realises that “Nothing of the above actually mattered. A peaceful life is actually what defines success in our lives.”

However, the definition of success is not constant in the society. Not every person considers a high paying job or an elegant car as success in their lives. For some people, a respectable position or a social connect would be success. For some others, it may still be different. This happens as a virtue of our experiences, social circles, thought processes, and perceptions. With ‘Thought Processes’ and ‘Perceptions’, the ‘Science of Psychology’ comes into picture.

So, the real dilemma begins here:

Do we need to handle our ‘Psychology’ as per our ‘Definition of Success’, OR

Should we handle our ‘Definition of Success’ to fit into our ‘Psychology’?

Confused?

Let’s make it simple.

Through our experiences and beliefs, we construct our perceptions. These perceptions, in turn, shape our lives and thought processes.

Still too philosophical?

Let’s try to understand this with a story.

A man is in comma and lying on the death-bed. His beloved wife sits at his bedside and waits for him to get well. She has no other choice but to wait for him to wake up. One day, her husband comes out of the comma, starts looking here and there, and finds her at his bedside. He signals her to come closer. When she des, he takes her hands in his and says, “You were with me when I was not earning anything, and no-one was ready to marry with me. You were with me when I was struggling to shape my business. You were with me when I was at peak in my business. You were with me when we bought this bunglow and our cars. You were with me when I got into huge losses in my business. You were with me when someone shot me with the gun. You were with me when I got paralysed. You were with me when I was in comma, and you are still here. So, I think you are the reason for all the wrong things that happened in my life.”

Shocked?

This man had nurtured only sad emotions. He had created a completely negative belief in his mind about his wife. He was reluctant to accepting his own faults. Hence, he constantly blamed someone else for his failures.

This is why his (emotional) state of mind created a very negative picture of his wife in his perception.

This is one of the perfect examples regarding ‘how we conveniently choose our perceptions’. Similarly, we always have our own perception towards successes and failures.

To conclude; through our emotions and beliefs, it’s our perceptions that build our psychology. If we can maintain our perceptions in a positive and rational manner, we can define a well crafted definition of success for our lives.

For any professional help, contact: +91-98220-24674 | jeevan@mindhealth.in

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