Why do we always find attention-seeking personalities?

When someone praise us, we always like it and we smile & nod inside our mind. It feels like a new feather in the hat. When it happens with us, we do wanted to happen it again and again. This feeling gives us short-term satisfaction. But slowly it becomes behavioural characteristic to become an attention seeker. Even we can not identify ourselves that we are behaving like an attention seeker in the group. It does not restrict us to be an attention seeker not only in our professional life but in our personal life and in our social or friend groups also.

We need to introspect ourselves deeply to identify that are we really becoming an attention seeker. There are many reasons or situations from our childhood,  young age and adulthood, which contributes subconsciously in our mind to become an attention seeker. Now we are going to see one reason, which may impact us to become an attention seeker. In our childhood and in our young age, we used to have many informal friend groups. Actually these group dynamics are subconsciously shaping our personalities. In a group, everyone is coming from different backgrounds or different grooming styles  or having different life experiences so it may have inequality in many ways. Normally in these groups, any informal discussion start with some funny, serious, fearful, exciting experiences. There is a possibility that we would not have that type any experience. We tend to get one foot backward, when it starts happening regularly. But we are social animals, we always wanted to live in a group. So we also want to share some relevant experiences in groups to feel ourselves to be part of the group. So we start creating some funny, serious, fearful, exciting experiences in our mind to share in our groups. Once it becomes a practice, we can make those type of experiences instantly in our mind. This habit leads us to bluffing, faking without reasons, bullying unreasonably, which becomes a characteristic of our behaviour to be an attention seeker. We start using this habit in our professional and personal life, which becomes disaster sometimes. So if we observe any attention seeking person anywhere, kindly do not blame him or her immediately. Try to understand that why he or she becomes so.

This type of behaviour may impact very badly on our professional and personal life too. It deteriorate our relationships, our credibility, our social status and our own trust within ourselves. This type of behaviour wastes the most precious thing in our life, that is ‘Time’. It has negative effect of diminishing the love and faith from our parents, wife, children, relatives, friends and clients too. People start avoiding these attention seeking personalities. So do not hesitate and start introspecting.

If you are facing the same problem, get in touch with us here +91-98220-24674 or write to  jeevan@mindhealth.in

Anger can be used as a strategy

In this modern age, ‘Anger Management’ is a popular subject to discuss in Corporate world and also in any informal groups. Few people are really pissed off with these words but have not understood about Anger Management at all. Many ways or strategies have been defined for Anger Management recently but all are not feeling it applicable to everyone. Many experts say it very easily that when we are sure that we can make any change in any disastrous situation, then what is the advantage of getting angry? and when we are sure that we cannot make any change in any disastrous situation, then what is the advantage to become angry? In both ways, there is no any point in getting angry.

Yes, it is entirely true but it does not happen like this in many situations. We get angry and create disastrous moments around us.

Anger is our emotion so it can not be removed from our mind but it definitely can be regulated. We will take a simple but meaningful example. Anyone’s death makes us feel bad, whether he is our acquittance or any other person from society. If I hear a news of someone’s death, I feel very bad. As I get to know that person is my friend or relative, I get sad or very sad. I used to see memories around that person and getting more & more sad. But by suppressing my emotion, I used to stand for my routine work. But this suppression of my emotion may lead me to depression. So I need to regulate my emotion on my own, no-one else can not do any thing to regulate my inner emotional status. But how it can be regulated?

Now let’s take an another example of anger. You must have been experienced this example in your formal & informal groups. Group of persons are sitting together and having a discussion, a person comes in the room, joins this group and sits with them. He starts talking very loudly with anger and getting aggressive with some issue. Someone from that group asks him “Why are you so angry? It’s okay nothing had been happened.” So how this angry man reacts to it? “No, I am not angry. Why should I be angry about?” But situation is telling the truth to other persons in the group that he’s actually angry and getting aggressive. But he’s not ready to accept that he’s angry.

In both type of examples, we have seen that we are not accepting our emotions very easily. If we accept our current emotion in our mind then we can help ourself to regulate the same emotion. Emotions can be regulated only if we accept. Now you will argue that in many cases we need to become angry to get something done from others. In case of mothers, they need to make their children to do their studies or some work. In case of manager, he needs to get some tasks done by his subordinates. In these similar type of cases, we feel like to be angry to get something done. These situations also can be handled intelligently with a different strategy.

First, we need to accept our emotion that we are getting angry. It is obvious that we get angry, if someone is not doing his desired work. This situation is expecting from me to become angry and say something angrily to get something done. Yes, this can be said very angrily as per the requirement of the situation but as a strategy to get the things done. When we are using anger as strategy, we should be aware with ourself. This should not become my emotion at any point of time in that situation. We should be telling ourself inside in our mind that we are using anger as a strategy to get something done. It is not my emotion and should not be my emotion. Using your anger as your strategy (wherever it is necessary) make you more productive and healthy too.

If you’re facing similar kind of problems and need professional help, get in touch here:

+91-98220-24674 | jeevan@mindhealth.in | www.mindhealth.in

Is managing expectations becoming really stressful?

We are born from our mother’s womb and having at least single parent or both parents and few close relatives also. Unfortunately we can not choose our parents and relatives, but we definitely can choose our friends, acquittances, colleagues and partner. Sometimes choosing colleagues is also getting difficult day by day, it becomes compulsive. Right?

We need to face our parents, relatives, friends, acquittances, colleagues and partner throughout our life. Every relation is expecting something from us and even we are expecting something from our above relations. Process of expectations are vice versa. Normally, we are not having any problems with the expectations. But expectations are always endless and it keep going beyond our limits that becomes a problem. This problem creates stress in our mind. With stress, we keep doing same mistakes again and again and could not make clarity in any of our expectations.

We will see a simple and logical example from Mechanical Engineering to understand the gravity of expectations. When two mechanical gears (it means teethes) are coming together and expected to engage in between to function, it needs right support and good lubrication for the smooth functioning. Lack of support and lubrication create sparks in the gear functioning. If both gears start banging on each other, it would result into sparks and then into fire. This fire devastates the gears entirely. As we are progressing ahead with the time, two engaged gears are functioning well and a new gear introduced to engage then new gear needs more lubrication and support for smooth functioning. Sometimes these gears have wear & tear issues so we need to keep its maintenance also.

Similar to the above example our lives are engaged with many different gears together and need right support and good lubrication for smooth functioning of our life. But what is this support and lubrication means in expectations? We are going through chaos of thoughts and different emotion sets, where our thoughts are not channelised and emotions are not regulated. We can give right support to our expectations by channelising our thoughts and regulating our emotions. We can give good lubrication for expectations by understanding ourselves and understanding our expectations more clearly. Deep introspection is needed to understand ourselves. So it gives us a way to understand others’ expectations and keep right expectations from others.

Sometimes few would need help for introspection of ourselves, channelising thought process and regulating our emotions. If you really need any type of professional help, get in touch here:

+91-98220-24674 or jeevan@mindhealth.in

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