In this modern age, ‘Anger Management’ is a popular subject to discuss in Corporate world and also in any informal groups. Few people are really pissed off with these words but have not understood about Anger Management at all. Many ways or strategies have been defined for Anger Management recently but all are not feeling it applicable to everyone. Many experts say it very easily that when we are sure that we can make any change in any disastrous situation, then what is the advantage of getting angry? and when we are sure that we cannot make any change in any disastrous situation, then what is the advantage to become angry? In both ways, there is no any point in getting angry.
Yes, it is entirely true but it does not happen like this in many situations. We get angry and create disastrous moments around us.
Anger is our emotion so it can not be removed from our mind but it definitely can be regulated. We will take a simple but meaningful example. Anyone’s death makes us feel bad, whether he is our acquittance or any other person from society. If I hear a news of someone’s death, I feel very bad. As I get to know that person is my friend or relative, I get sad or very sad. I used to see memories around that person and getting more & more sad. But by suppressing my emotion, I used to stand for my routine work. But this suppression of my emotion may lead me to depression. So I need to regulate my emotion on my own, no-one else can not do any thing to regulate my inner emotional status. But how it can be regulated?
Now let’s take an another example of anger. You must have been experienced this example in your formal & informal groups. Group of persons are sitting together and having a discussion, a person comes in the room, joins this group and sits with them. He starts talking very loudly with anger and getting aggressive with some issue. Someone from that group asks him “Why are you so angry? It’s okay nothing had been happened.” So how this angry man reacts to it? “No, I am not angry. Why should I be angry about?” But situation is telling the truth to other persons in the group that he’s actually angry and getting aggressive. But he’s not ready to accept that he’s angry.
In both type of examples, we have seen that we are not accepting our emotions very easily. If we accept our current emotion in our mind then we can help ourself to regulate the same emotion. Emotions can be regulated only if we accept. Now you will argue that in many cases we need to become angry to get something done from others. In case of mothers, they need to make their children to do their studies or some work. In case of manager, he needs to get some tasks done by his subordinates. In these similar type of cases, we feel like to be angry to get something done. These situations also can be handled intelligently with a different strategy.
First, we need to accept our emotion that we are getting angry. It is obvious that we get angry, if someone is not doing his desired work. This situation is expecting from me to become angry and say something angrily to get something done. Yes, this can be said very angrily as per the requirement of the situation but as a strategy to get the things done. When we are using anger as strategy, we should be aware with ourself. This should not become my emotion at any point of time in that situation. We should be telling ourself inside in our mind that we are using anger as a strategy to get something done. It is not my emotion and should not be my emotion. Using your anger as your strategy (wherever it is necessary) make you more productive and healthy too.
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