Romancing with success leads us to failure

“Self-image is your impression about your own capacities and it is the ultimate limit of your achievement.”

Why do we want to be always successful in everything we do?

Is it a rule of this world?

What is my image of success?

Answers to above questions are very relative and based on perspectives different for each and everyone. Everyone has their own definition of success and many of them strive to become successful. Normally we set a particular goal and plan few milestones in-between to verify our path. Now we are going to discuss about the verification of the path with our set milestones. Being successful in achieving the small milestones is also important for us to achieve the final goal. So we start for striving hard to achieve these milestones. Day by day, we are getting successful in few steps towards these milestones. But many times or in many cases, we find inconsistency in achieving success in these milestones. As we become successful in a particular step, we used to stay at that point in expectation of some praise. Once we start getting praised, we create comfort zone and would select to stay for more time. Here we are mistaking for staying in a comfort zone. As we start romancing with our success, we could not proceed to strive for next milestone.

Is it really hard to understand, let’s take an example.

We will go to tennis court for a match. Two competitive, famous and World Ranking tennis players are having a match and going to compete with each other for World Championship. Player A and Player B are standing opposite to each other across the net with vigour & confidence. A game has started, both players are so competitive that tight tussle is going in between them. Now Player A is having few points but Player B is at zero as of now. Player A is satisfied with his strategy and moves but here, audience have started appreciating & praising Player A a lot so he has also praising himself inside in his mind. This has creating a slight pressure in his mind but at the same time, he is creating a small comfort zone around him about his moves. This situation has created a slight distraction in his mind for next service. When he’s taking a move and hitting the ball, he loses his level of concentration. He lost that point and feeling ashamed about his silly mistake. But he could not recognise that he’s losing his involvement and concentration to a certain level and that’s why he has made a silly mistake. Player B has taken an advantage of mental state of Player A and bagged few points against him. Now supporters of Player B have started appreciating & praising him. So effect of Player A is a vice-versa with Player B. Now Player A has taken advantage and bagged few points. So finally Player B has realised about his comfort zone, which is not required for him and he had stopped romancing with his successful points. He is facing every ball with a fresh mind without any biases, playing every shot is different. As he started treating every shot of him is different, he can keep himself more involved. His involvement increases his concentration too. So finally Player B won the match because he had left his distractions and become inward to play flawlessly.

Every situation in our life is like a shot in a game. If we can treat every shot is different, we can remove our biases and keep ourselves more and more involved, focussed and concentrated. So we can enjoy the journey and keep ourself joyful. We create comfort zones around us, start labelling people with our biases and keep ourselves hanging and romancing with our previous successes. We make mistakes without realising the root cause of a problem. So become sportive player and treat every ball and the shot differently with more and more involvement and concentration.

For any professional help, get in touch here +91-98220-24674 | jeevan@mindhealth.in

Is managing expectations becoming really stressful?

We are born from our mother’s womb and having at least single parent or both parents and few close relatives also. Unfortunately we can not choose our parents and relatives, but we definitely can choose our friends, acquittances, colleagues and partner. Sometimes choosing colleagues is also getting difficult day by day, it becomes compulsive. Right?

We need to face our parents, relatives, friends, acquittances, colleagues and partner throughout our life. Every relation is expecting something from us and even we are expecting something from our above relations. Process of expectations are vice versa. Normally, we are not having any problems with the expectations. But expectations are always endless and it keep going beyond our limits that becomes a problem. This problem creates stress in our mind. With stress, we keep doing same mistakes again and again and could not make clarity in any of our expectations.

We will see a simple and logical example from Mechanical Engineering to understand the gravity of expectations. When two mechanical gears (it means teethes) are coming together and expected to engage in between to function, it needs right support and good lubrication for the smooth functioning. Lack of support and lubrication create sparks in the gear functioning. If both gears start banging on each other, it would result into sparks and then into fire. This fire devastates the gears entirely. As we are progressing ahead with the time, two engaged gears are functioning well and a new gear introduced to engage then new gear needs more lubrication and support for smooth functioning. Sometimes these gears have wear & tear issues so we need to keep its maintenance also.

Similar to the above example our lives are engaged with many different gears together and need right support and good lubrication for smooth functioning of our life. But what is this support and lubrication means in expectations? We are going through chaos of thoughts and different emotion sets, where our thoughts are not channelised and emotions are not regulated. We can give right support to our expectations by channelising our thoughts and regulating our emotions. We can give good lubrication for expectations by understanding ourselves and understanding our expectations more clearly. Deep introspection is needed to understand ourselves. So it gives us a way to understand others’ expectations and keep right expectations from others.

Sometimes few would need help for introspection of ourselves, channelising thought process and regulating our emotions. If you really need any type of professional help, get in touch here:

+91-98220-24674 or jeevan@mindhealth.in

Is controlling our mind necessary?

Our mind is just the smell – either fragrance or stink – choose what we want to carry within ourselves.

Few days back, there was class reunion of our school mates. This actually made me nostalgic. Lot of friends were meeting again after a long time. At the dinner, one of my friends and I were discussing about his company & its operations, organisational management and competitive market. He had started this company 9 years back with his passion & zeal. His company’s turnover is around 21 crores & managing 168 employees. After dinner, he had started discussing about his behavioural concerns with me.

He was telling that managing daily operations, executing expansion plans, bagging more orders make me stressful sometimes. Actually I’m enjoying my work and company is also progressing but as human resources are increasing, it is becoming very difficult for me to control my mind. Sometimes I loose my control on my mind and I become extremist on my emotional side.

I said, “Why do we need to control our mind? Our thoughts and emotions are not going to stop until we die so rather than trying to control; we can regulate both rationally. What we have mostly in our mind; number of thoughts, emotions and our belief system. Many times, we have chaos of our own thoughts and get confused to take the decisions. Our thoughts get changed very fast but our emotions do not change with the same pace so shadow of our emotions peeps in our every thought. Our piled up thoughts create stress in our mind and our extreme negative emotions strike the fire in our mind. So you become extremist with unlimited number of thoughts and extreme emotions. Emotions can be regulated and thoughts can be channelised with few techniques. These techniques are simple to adopt and accommodate in our lifestyle. But it definitely needs consistency. Even our breathing styles impact our thoughts & emotions, so we need to learn to become conscious about our breathing.”

He was listening to me with very interest. He asked “What are those techniques then?” “It is time consuming and has step by step procedure to implement so if you are interested to know, let me know your convenient time. We’ll meet up as per both of our convenience” I said.

He smiled & shook my hand with the confidence and said “Definitely”

If you’re facing similar kind of problems and need professional help, get in touch here:

+91-98220-24674 | jeevan@mindhealth.in

Close relation of Spinal Cord, Breathing, our emotions & thoughts

Usually we love to sit in a recliner chairs and prefer this kind of chairs in our office, home, bus, car and theatres. We feel very comfortable in these type of chairs. We used to sit hours and hours on recliner type of chair in our offices. This sitting arrangement gives very good muscle comfort to our body. But we can offer two types of comforts to our body one is Muscle Comfort and other is Organ Comfort.

In our body, most of our vital organs are placed in our heart and abdomen region. These important organs are not bolted to any pillar in our body. It is like hanging shirt on a hanger. You can keep your shirt wrinkle free, if it is hanged properly and kept it straight. Similarly if we seat with our spine erect, our important organs get necessary comfort. These organs can give the best performance.

If we can keep our spinal cord means our neck, upper back and lower back in a straight position, we can have a complete breathing cycle from our abdomen to chest. So our body is breathing-in maximum fresh air in our lungs, which results into more and more freshness in our body and in our mental state. It is difficult to sit in a straight position for our hours but we can train our muscles to be comfortable with the spine erect.

If we are seating with a spine straight and doing the full respiration consciously, then we can concentrate on our work well. We can deliver best possible quality performance and increase our productivity in the work and at our home also. With the ‘spine-erected sitting’ and full respiration, we can regulate our emotions and thought process easily and take balanced decisions. This can be the best technique for regulating our anger, anxiety and sadness.

So keep breathing, keep your spine straight.

If you need any professional help, kindly get in touch: +91-98220-24674 | jeevan@mindhealth.in

Breathing impacts our emotions & thoughts

“Conscious breathing is a simplest tool on this earth to make our life happy”

In our techno-freak world, we have many ‘Apps’ to manage anything in our materialistic life. Now we have many more iOS & Android Apps for our health care. It’s trending on our social media. But we tend to forget the simplest tool or ‘In-built App’, which nature had given us i.e breathing.

Actually we start our life with the breathing & stopping the breathing is generally considered as end of one’s life. So breathing is so intensely connected with our every activity. It has its own impact on our body & mind. Even if we start observing our breathing, we can recognise different patterns of respiration in our different emotions. When we are anxious, irritated, sad and panic; we have certain pattern of breathing. When we are happy and joyful; we have different pattern of breathing. It proves how breathing is connected with our emotions and mental state. Now it has been medically & scientifically proven that conscious breathing also helps to keep us physically & mentally healthy.

Breathing is so inherent part of us that made us unfocused about our breathing process. We are going through different emotions & thoughts throughout the day. We are concerned about pressures or stress, which we are creating through our emotions and thoughts. But we have easily forgotten to keep a watch on our breathing, which can actually regulate our emotions & thoughts.

Conscious breathing or keeping a watch on our breathing process, when we are doing our day to day activities help to keep us mentally & physically healthy.

So keep breathing, keep walking.

If you need any professional help, kindly get in touch: +91-98220-24674 | jeevan@mindhealth.in

Making movies in our mind makes us Un-productive

We love to watch movies. Many times we have our own choices. We choose to watch a movie if its genre, music, actors, actresses and a few other ‘influencing’ factors appeal us.

Behind the camera, when a movie is made, it’s story is always based on some creative imaginations. Even in cases where movies are based on true stories, they need to be fabricated in order to make them more appealing to the audience. This ‘appealing’ factor engages us and increases our involvement in the movie. Some movies create a serious impact on our emotions for a longer period of time.

Now, there is a small secret about our mind..! We also have a habit of creating our own movies in the mind. We start making movies due to our inabilities to face realities. We become very creative when we make such movies. Subconsciously, we start becoming habitual to such kind of a phenomenon.

When we start making movies in our mind, we may pick up characters from real life or many times they may even be fictitious or imaginative (e.g.: my perfect man or my perfect partner). We usually associate different contextual references and experiences from our real life with these fictitious characters. As we start enjoying our own creation, we get habitual to it and start making more movies in our mind. Sometimes we visualise very disturbing probable results of a simple situation. It may not even be a problem. Many people pass number of hours in making such mind movies. Surprisingly, these movies may have thrill, suspense, horror, romance and comedy also. You may have seen people smiling or laughing for no reason when they drive alone on a bike. It happens with us also. We choose to become the main hero or heroin in many instances. As it is dramatic, it is very addictive in nature.

Gradually, this fun of our mind movies gets worse and detaches us from the present realities. Unknowingly, we start living either in the past or the future with the fictitious support of these fake movies. We reject the choice of living in the present. This is how we get habitual to it and start forgetting the daily tasks in our work lists. We drop our level of understanding and recalling capacities. We prepare ourselves mentally for important business meetings but we miss out few important points in a meeting. We recollect and remember all those points just after the meeting ends. Or when we are relaxed, conscious or alert.

A very common example of such a phenomena is a disturbance in our reading capabilities. When we start reading a book from page 1 to page 10, we leave our conscious reading somewhere around page 4; but still our eyes keep reading physically up to page 10. Somehow, we realise by the 10th page that we understood the context only up to page 4. Then we start reading again from the page 4. This is where the movies started. Somewhere between Page 4 and Page 10..!

This phenomenon peeps in many aspects of our life. According to our research, lot of us are facing this serious problem within ourselves. Making unnecessary movies in our mind create stress. Resultantly ir affects our productivity and we start facing imbalances between our work and personal life.

For professional help, contact: +91–98220–24674 | jeevan@mindhealth.in

Emotions are the best medicine for managing stress

Emotions are very important and sacred element of our mind. Emotions shape our life and quality of our life. We always have question about importance of thoughts and emotions, so both are two sides of a same coin. If we have sweet emotions for someone then we always have all good thoughts about him or her. On the other side when we have some negative or bad thoughts about someone, we have nasty emotions about him or her. Actually we used to carry negative emotions for a longer period of time. It is our mind game, which we always play within us.

When we are pitching our product or a concept to any new client. We do study them personally and even we study about their company or products. In the process of our research, we collect many things and our thoughts have started processing the negative and positive sides about the client. Considering few bad experiences in our  business deals, we start thinking about negative elements more. In a result, story of our thoughts start imagining all possible negative elements from our known world. Obviously by the rule of nature, our thoughts create negative emotions in our mind. So these negative emotions used to create negativity in our minds, which leads to loosing the deal with the client. Loosing the deal or a client is a stressful situation in any business. This also happens with our personal relationships too.

Our thoughts have great speed and pace. For example, if we close our eyes and start thinking about Himalaya, we reach Himalaya within a mili-second. Actually it is faster than speed of light. But our emotions does not have that much of speed so emotions could not match the speed of our thoughts. So when we have negative emotions, we used to keep those negative emotions for a longer time in our mind. But on the other side, our thoughts have gone far ahead with negative impact. When we approach to any professional or personal tasks, our long carried negative emotions create negative thoughts lead to failure in most of the cases. Consistent failures in fulfilling expectations leads to stress.

We ourselves are only responsible for our success and failure. If we can try to keep the balance in our emotions on a regular basis, we can come up with  rational thoughts. Rational thought process teaches us to see the situations neutrally. Actually this game of our emotions and thoughts are easy to discuss but always difficult to process so we need consistency and persistence to work on our emotional balance and thought process. Sometimes few individuals might need some professional help for the above process.

For any professional help, contact: +91-98220-24674 | jeevan@mindhealth.in

How ‘Rational Thought Process’ helps in strategic decision-making

“Decision-making is the process of identifying and choosing alternatives based on the values and preferences of the decision-maker.”

Decision is an element which is a source of confusion in our mind in a variety of circumstances. When we are shopping for grocery and vegetables, normally we have confusion and need to take some decision. Even choosing a school for our child, we are in confusion but need to take a decision. On a larger scale, when a company faces an opportunity to enter into a new market, acquire another company or launch a new product, where management’s decision is important and critical. These are the strategic decisions, which involves developing a long term direction and vision & objective of the entire organisation. Thousands of employees, stakeholders, vendors, customers are dependent on the strategic decision made by the management. So we can imagine the mental pressure in the minds of top executives, entrepreneurs and business owners. Now we will see how the thought process helps in strategic decision making.

In our last article, we have discussed about belief system and introspection of assumptions in our mind. Our thoughts themselves ignite for making assumptions in our belief system and make impact on our emotions. In strategic decision making, we need to think from different perspectives and need to consider variety of circumstances but we always think through the assumptions in our mind. When we are introspecting our assumptions, we need to make those assumptions logically structured and reasonable. This process results in Rational thinking. Now we will see the famous example of rational thinking in strategic decision-making.

Toyota cars entered Indian market in 1997 and launched its first multi-utility vehicle ‘QUALIS’ in 2000. Toyota QUALIS has picked up the market in a very less time and was selling like a hot cake. QUALIS was most selling multi-utility vehicle in India at that time but suddenly Toyota had taken a decision to withdraw QUALIS in 2005 and launched ‘INNOVA’ in the market. Toyota wanted to project their cars as most customer-value driven cars. QUALIS was famous as Tourist car but Toyota wants to make their vehicle’s identity as a family car so they launched INNOVA.

Toyota had taken a strategic decision with a rational thought process to withdraw their most selling vehicle in India. We also can make our thought process channelised and rational to take best strategic decisions in business and any decisions in our personal life. But it needs consistency and persistence to change our thought process. As we mentioned earlier, emotions also play a vital role in making rational thought process.

For any professional help, contact: +91-98220-24674 | jeevan@mindhealth.in

“Belief System” – The secret to Happiness

“Each of us have set of assumptions about ourselves and perceptions about the world, which guide us to determine our reactions to the various situations we encounter.”

Corporate! it is such a dynamic world. Many times what we visualise ‘Corporate’ as something looks sophisticated from outside but dirty from inside. We have lot of common sayings or assumptions in ourselves about corporate world like “Boss is always right”, “People are very diplomatic”, “having dirty politics in corporate world”, “corporate gives you money & dignity but it steals your personal life”, “This world is always stressful & workaholic”. How have we built these assumptions around us? Many times, we have these assumptions before working in real corporate world. It has been created around us by many sources like parents, friends, society, education system, media. Everyone does not have the same experience but we have common assumptions.

As we take birth on this earth, we are somehow clean and assumption-less. But from childhood, everyone around us starts giving us unsolicited advice about people in this world and its different facets. But we get very less chance to experience everything without any assumptions in our mind. These assumptions become beliefs. When we get a job in a campus interview, we believe that this company and our profile will make us successful but very less people believe the same after five years working in same company. Entrepreneurs always believe that this venture is going to make us very successful but very less entrepreneurs feel the same after twenty years working in same venture. Why is it so???

Our assumptions make our beliefs and we start thinking through these beliefs. In our last blog, we have seen perceptions; actually we develop our perceptions through these beliefs. Every reaction in our life reflects our beliefs, when it becomes a part of our life; it becomes a part of our thought process i.e. Belief System. Every decision in our professional or personal life has a big role of our belief system.

Our belief system need to be thoroughly introspected, when we want to be successful and want to live a happy life. We need to introspect our assumptions about everything in the life very carefully and need to do it one by one. We will see a common example to see the impact of a ‘word’ in our life. We use the word ‘Deadline’ many many times in a day. But in a reality, is it really our deadline? Are we going to be dead after that line? We are slowly creating stress in our subconscious mind by using this word. This type of detailing is expected, when we are introspecting about our belief system.

We definitely can make change in our belief system, which will help us to live stress-free, happy and successful life. But we need to have patience, consistency and persistence to make these changes.

For any professional help, contact: +91-98220-24674 | jeevan@mindhealth.in

Does Psychology define Success?

“Emotion is the consciousness of the resulting conditions – of success, failure, adjustment, compromise and balance.”

Success!!!

If we ask people to define success in their lives, everyone will have different answers. Actually, our own definitions of success are also never constant. For example, if we ask a child what is success, he might say “being a good boy and winning a chocolate from my Dad is a Success”. Later, as he starts going to school, “being a hero in the school & friends” is success for him. Later in his life, “A high paying job or an elegant car” might prove to be his symbol for success. However, in the late phases of his career, he realises that “Nothing of the above actually mattered. A peaceful life is actually what defines success in our lives.”

However, the definition of success is not constant in the society. Not every person considers a high paying job or an elegant car as success in their lives. For some people, a respectable position or a social connect would be success. For some others, it may still be different. This happens as a virtue of our experiences, social circles, thought processes, and perceptions. With ‘Thought Processes’ and ‘Perceptions’, the ‘Science of Psychology’ comes into picture.

So, the real dilemma begins here:

Do we need to handle our ‘Psychology’ as per our ‘Definition of Success’, OR

Should we handle our ‘Definition of Success’ to fit into our ‘Psychology’?

Confused?

Let’s make it simple.

Through our experiences and beliefs, we construct our perceptions. These perceptions, in turn, shape our lives and thought processes.

Still too philosophical?

Let’s try to understand this with a story.

A man is in comma and lying on the death-bed. His beloved wife sits at his bedside and waits for him to get well. She has no other choice but to wait for him to wake up. One day, her husband comes out of the comma, starts looking here and there, and finds her at his bedside. He signals her to come closer. When she des, he takes her hands in his and says, “You were with me when I was not earning anything, and no-one was ready to marry with me. You were with me when I was struggling to shape my business. You were with me when I was at peak in my business. You were with me when we bought this bunglow and our cars. You were with me when I got into huge losses in my business. You were with me when someone shot me with the gun. You were with me when I got paralysed. You were with me when I was in comma, and you are still here. So, I think you are the reason for all the wrong things that happened in my life.”

Shocked?

This man had nurtured only sad emotions. He had created a completely negative belief in his mind about his wife. He was reluctant to accepting his own faults. Hence, he constantly blamed someone else for his failures.

This is why his (emotional) state of mind created a very negative picture of his wife in his perception.

This is one of the perfect examples regarding ‘how we conveniently choose our perceptions’. Similarly, we always have our own perception towards successes and failures.

To conclude; through our emotions and beliefs, it’s our perceptions that build our psychology. If we can maintain our perceptions in a positive and rational manner, we can define a well crafted definition of success for our lives.

For any professional help, contact: +91-98220-24674 | jeevan@mindhealth.in

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